Yup, that about accurately covers us when playing Zerg.
See, here’s the thing. We’ve been waxing prosaic about how Zerg are reportedly underpowered, underused and generally sucky for a few weeks now.
At first, we were amused.
Then we were, well, super-amused.
But it began to dawn on us that despite their inherent grossness, the Zerg presented us with something that we could not possibly resist – a challenge.
That’s right.
We don’t like them – we don’t like the way they move, the way they sound – thank all high heaven that “smell cards” haven’t been developed because we don’t even want to know what a Zergling cocoon exploding would do to our olfactory senses, but now we’re compelled to play them.
We must beat the odds.
We must become Zerg champions.
How’s it going, we hear you asking, and we’re only too happy to provide confirmation of what you likely already know.
We’re getting PWNED. Not just OWNED, but full-on PWNAGE.
Zerg rush? PWNED. Mutas? PWNED. Defense? PWNED.
We could point to the well-known “Zerg problems” but at this point, in the Bronze league, we’re thinking it’s more us than Blizzard’s potentially poor balance.
We will say that Zerg “feel” harder to play. The lack of any stand-alone gatherer units that, you know, build things instead of turning into them takes a distinct shift in mental focus. Add to that the fact that we would swear we’re churning out units faster than the competition only to discover that our six Zergling attack force is easily countered by the one Barracks, two Supply Depots and two Marines holding the line, followed by an après-game score sheet showing we were totally outmatched in terms of unit production, and we start to wonder if maybe there is something to this whole “Zerg are underpowered” nonsense.
This is odd, because when we play as Terran against Zerg, they always destroy us, without issue. Zerglings seem invincible early game, and Mutas are a giant pain in the ass without enough Missile Turrets. Once we build enough of those, Hydras overrun us.
Truth be told, playing Zerg well seems to actually have a great deal to do with skill rather than “HUR I MASH UNIT MAKEY BUTTONS NAO”, which is actually a great thing to have in a strategy game.
Trouble is, we just don’t have the long-term planning skills necessary to effectively carry out a Zerg attack plan.
We can do early-game fairly well, muddle through mid-game and if we get to end game, simply hang out in our base with a smallish force waiting for the Hammer of Righteous Ass-Kickery to come down our way.
We’re just not long-term strategists – more Zergling than Overmind – that’s us.
Still, we’re enjoying the Zerg and the challenge they represent.
We’ll let you know when we hit the Silver league.
Based on our current projections, that should be sometime after the second Starcraft II expansion and/or by 2025.
Gotta have realistic goals.
