We were going to get him a chemistry set, but were concerned that he’d set his long flowing hair on fire. We considered a sporty new bicycle, but he has a habit of getting into fights with the Protossian children down the block and the kids of that nice couple, the Zergowichs, up the street.
Jim just can’t play nice.
So instead of anything tangible, we went ahead and decided that the best thing for Jim would be another patch, you know, to get everything working smoothly, efficiently. Sure, this is kind of like the pair of socks you don’t really want but know you need, and maybe its not what Jim would like to see under the SCII Christmas tree, but we just can’t have him embarrassing us by walking into high-level Dominion meetings with holes in his stocking feet.
Really, what kind of self-respecting revolutionary does that?
So, we sent out a prayer to Blizzard-Claus, and his representative, Chris Sigaty, answered in the form of a PC Gamer interview.
Hot on the heels of patch 1.1 is the development of 1.2, scheduled for a release before the end of the year.
While 1.1 addressed small balance changes and included some interface upgrades, the general feeling of the Starcraft II community is that it didn’t go far enough to get the Zerg out of the giant hole of suck they’re currently in.
According to Sigaty, Blizzard is “being very cautious about making large swinging changes right now”, and this is probably a sensible policy. Sure, they could super-nerf Marines and Zealots only to have Protoss and Terran players pounding on their door in two months.
The theory Blizzard advances currently is that Zerg is simply harder to play than the other two races, owing to the need to manage larva in a different way than SCVs or Probes, and that makes it a tough race to start and finish with.
Maybe people just don’t like that THEY’RE SUPER GROSS.
According to Sigaty, however, their focus for the next patch is to balance the 1v1 experience, even to the detriment of the 2v2. As well, chat channels are finally supposed to arrive, along with a host of features for those strangest of creatures, e-sports gamers.
While fans QQ about the balance now and will after the next patch is out, Sigaty puts us all in our place by telling us that not only will true balance “take a year of longer to do”, but that in the original game, “balance” was still being worked out even when Brood War hit.
Translation? Suck it up Sally.
Sally = you, btw. You who are whining about “your race” not being good enough.
Look to the general, not his army, for failure.
Take that piece of Zen, suckas.
Also, Merry Zergmas.