Banshees in all their glory.
The league and ladder system in the Starcraft II Beta Is great. Mostly.
We found this out the other day after a gruelling match with a competitor that lasted a full thirty minutes. In Starcraft terms, that’s about one billion times longer than any pro game ever played.
The system matched us well – we were of almost equal strength. He was the technologically superior Protoss, we were Terrans with nothing but grit, led by Lt. Rem Ular, a smart and savvy marine who had lost one arm to the first Zerg invasion, but bounced back with a acerbic wit which only lightly covered a soft spot in his heart for his soldiers, and small puppies.
In a brilliant move, Lt. Ular ordered the Command Center lifted off when an overwhelming force of Zealots came calling. Re-establishing a second base on the only-accessible-by-air portion of the Lost Temple map, he ordered the construction of a fleet of cloaked Banshees, which caught the now-unprepared Protoss by surprise.
What did Lt. Ular get for his troubles? A Mauve Heart of Valour? A promotion and a pack of cigars? Nope.
He got a nice letter from the Terran high command (see: Battle.net) that said “Victory!”. Then it said “Based on your performance, you have been moved down to the COPPER LEAGUE!!”
Wait. WTF?
That’s right. After a titanic struggle and epic victory, poor Rem Ular was punted back down to the copper league. We were stunned. Was it the length of our match which had robbed us of the chance to compete in the cutthroat Bronze league, or does Blizzard just not like Terrans?
More than likely, it was an amalgam of our entire perforce up until that point, but what a way to twist the knife, just as we achieve epic and total victory. Time to maybe re-think when the league changes happen, Blizz.
What this segues into is the second half of our title. We decided to try the same strategy in 2v2 match with a friend of ours. We both immediately lifted our Terran bases off and flew them to islands, where we began constructing air forces. Sadly, our opponent, who we believe was “dual-boxing” and playing as both of our opponents, found our partner’s base and destroyed it.
We managed to create a well-fortified position consisting of scores of missle turrets and a substantial amount of Banshees. Ultimately, our opponent(s) were able to kill most of our forces, which is when he turned into a giant ass.
Initially, he told us to give up. We declined, and made the argument that he was welcome to come and kill us if he so desired.
There were a few moments of silence, and then we sent another Banshee raiding party in to destroy one of his many Nexii (plural of Protoss Nexus, maybe?). At this point, references to homosexuality, “our mom” and any other number of standard and stereotypical insults began to roll off the virtual tongue of our opponent.
Our response was simple and to the point – “we make you work for something, and that’s your response?” – it just seemed so ridiculous. He had the ships, but lacked the desire to actually finish us and the map. He wanted victory, simply because he had superior numbers. A strategic genius, he wasn’t.
Of course, the map inevitably went his way, but we were granted a small victory. Because of the length of the match and a number of other factors, we lost no points, and didn’t go down a position in our league. He gained none, and did not move up. Justice be done.
Overall, we do think that the Battle.net sorting criteria is perhaps a little harsh, and tends to place too much emphasis on speed over skill, as evidenced by our fall from grace and our encounter with the fellow who had clearly fallen from great height and smacked his head on something sharp.
The attitude seems to be that if the match isn’t fast, it isn’t worth having, but we disagree. True strategy doesn’t lie simply in the overwhelming first rush, but in the interplay between opponents, the feints and counter-feints and the desperate, unexpected attacks.
We may not sit atop the ladder, but that view is precarious, at best, so we’re content on a lower rung. We’re losers, but we don’t really mind, since we actually have fun playing the game. So bring your “momma” jokes and your thinly veiled fear of homosexuals – we’re ready to take on all comers. Just don’t expect a short match, but do anticipate a ruthless mocking.
