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Shhh….Blizz Might Hear You

Or did, suckas.

Hot on the heels of both patch 1.1 and our discussion of the inherent suck of the Zerg comes patch 1.1.1, which features a number of small changes, most notably this one:
“Fixed an issue where Ultralisk cleave range was being unintentionally extended by larger targets”

According to the SC2Armory, this has “fixed the Ultralisk splash bug, but also now rendered it useless against all units”.

We have only one thing to say regarding this matter.


Wait, one more.

QQ moar noob.

Look, we’ll fully admit that Zerg are hard to play – we did in our previous post anyway, so you should know by now that we won’t claim they’re easy – but that doesn’t mean that Blizz should bring down the house for them.

Zerg players have been very vocal about the suckiness of their race, with some high-end (and poser) players “threatening” to not play Zerg until the balance issues are worked out.
Blizzard, ever vigilant, listened to its fans and buffed up the poor Ultralisk in 1.1. Then, in a move of stunning comic boldness, got out the old Nerf bat and started whacking away again.

This is why we love this company.

Sure, Blizzard makes mistakes, but they’re not afraid to really infuriate people, really make them gnash their teeth together and flail away at the padded armrests of their gaming chairs.

The company will do what it deems best for the game, even if that’s not always best for the gamer.

A bold strategy, you would think.

Until you look at the numbers.

Sure, these “elite” players are threatening to walk away from the Hives and Lairs they so dearly love, leaving their poor roaches to wander aimlessly, senselessly burrowed somewhere under the map, but the fact is that Blizzard already has their money, especially from gamers who live in North America.

Without monthly pay-for-play fees, Blizzard got $60 from these guys, and isn’t going to give it back anytime soon. As of September 1, the game had sold over 3 million copies, making it the bestselling strategy game of all time.

Basically, Blizzard can do whatever the [bleep] they want, and still walk away a Bajillion dollars richer.

We don’t agree with everything the company does – the RealID experiment was an unmitigated disaster, and we’re still not sure they should have given in to the overly moralistic Korean governing body that forced them to release two versions of SCII in that country, but the fact remains that they make great games that people buy.

So if you’re reading this, Zerg whiners, go ahead and stop playing. We don’t care for your squishy bug-creatures anyway, and you typically beat the snot out of us, nerf bat or no.
Come back out of hiding once you feel that Blizzard has properly addressed your concerns, and we’re at the top of our game with Terran.

Speaking of the Terrans, there are a few improvements we’d like to see, such as…

We think we hear a Blue.

Shhhh. Be vewy vewy quiet.

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Categories: StarCraft 2.

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