Yup. Nothing crazy going on here.
We know that North Korean leader Kim Jong-iI likes American movies, but we’re guessing he’s not a big fan of Starcraft, unless he can get his hands on a version in which his army is fanatically loyal, eats the same minerals they mine for extra efficiency and all other opponents are labelled as “the heathen rest of the world”.
You’d think that his neighbours to the south, the lovely and friendly South Koreans, would have a different outlook, especially since they’re the biggest Starcraft nerds on the entire planet, with bragging rights, prize money and presumably women up for grabs at their tournaments. We can only imagine the terrible sexual puns that could result from the use of the Protoss Probe or Terran Siege Tank.
Oddly, however, South Korea is not Starcraft II’s biggest fan. The players themselves seem to be reasonably accepting of the new iteration of the game, but the government, as mentioned in a previous post, is going after SCII with a vengeance.
As of May 11, Blizzard submitted a re-done version of the game, a less “vulgar” and bloody re-doing of SCII in an effort to have its “Adults Only” rating removed. They succeeded, and upon release the game can happily be enjoyed by twelve year olds. Hurrah.
Blizzard is considering pressing on to release an AO version as well, but financially we’re not sure that makes sense. A few curse words and some blood probably won’t be enough to convince older gamers to head that way, especially if they can’t achieve a concurrent launch. At this point, they may as well just name it HandiCraft and have the Terrans and Protoss make a nice knit quilt together while the Zerg make everyone tea. See this top square? It’s Jim Raynor and Zeratul hugging! And this one is Sarah Kerrigan drinking a nice cool glass of lemonade. Ah! Refreshing!
Point is, we don’t like things to be dumbed down. Dumb down make us angry. Us mad. We use small words. Type hard. RAWR.
Ahem.
We’re concerned about Korea, frankly. In addition to this AO rating for a game the country is absolutely bat-crap insane about, a recent wave of betting scandals has made matters worse. One, in which three brokers paid pro Starcraft players anywhere between 2 and 6 million won (2000 to 6000 dollars) to throw matches – which is funny, because they lost – has thrown an already confused community into turmoil.
Frankly, we’re surprised they even took the dives. The competitors we’ve seen here on the North American server have been fiercely competitive, and this is only the bronze and copper leagues we’re talking about. We can’t imagine the nerd-smack that would be coming down at a pro-level match, or the stigma attached to losing.
So you know what, South Korea? You suck. We’re taking away your status as the center of Starcraft in the world and shifting it north to Pyongyang. Sure, the matches will be fixed and all of the winners will be K.J.II, but at least we know what’s coming ahead of time. Frankly, at this point, we’ll accept bids from any country that wants to take over stewardship of one of the best RTS games of all time – it needs a good home.
Seouled! To the country in front row with the little hat on. Enjoy.
