This is not cheating. It is just going to suck.
Sure, victory is sweet. Especially the kind where you defeat an enemy that should have crushed you, or prevail against all odds.
Sometimes even losing is sweet – though usually with a “bitter” attached to the front of it – as anyone who’s played the last of the Zeratul missions can attest. You know you’re going down, and going down hard, but the least you can do is bloody that damn Hybrid’s nose a bit and maybe break one of his legs.
If he has legs. Anyway, just break something. It’ll make you feel better.
But what if you wanted to win? What if you just wanted to stick it to ‘em, make sure that not a single one of those Zerg went home happy, hung up his coat and hat, and sat down to dinner with the family after a job well done? Sure, maybe his family life has lost a little bit of luster after the 3,000,000th kid, and maybe his marital problems are starting to stack up, but he’s trying, dammit!
She’s just so bossy.
Maybe you’d be doing him a favor.
So maybe you’re a savior. Maybe you’re a destroyer. Whatever the reason, you’re tired of losing. So what do you do? You hunker down, bag of chips at the ready, perhaps a pair of tongs to feed fried potato goodness into your gaping maw without coating your hands with crusty chip-goo, and you practice. You practice until your eyes bleed, until your fingers stay permanently curved, waiting to be wrapped around the svelte form of your mouse, until you are Starcraft.
And you lose some more.
$#@% it.
Time to cheat.
That’s right folks, Blizzard has included some handy-dandy cheat codes along with their latest blockbuster, and they require no more than pressing enter during a mission and typing them in. Their cost?
NO ACHIEVEMENTS FOR JOO.
So long as you’re ok with that, read on for hawt cheating action.
Your first reason for sucking is that you’ve been forced to choose upgrades for your tech and could only buy some of the Mercs offered. You need more money.
Type “whysoserious” and you’ll receive a staggering 5 billion credits for you to spend at your leisure. Thanks, Joker!
That’s not a typo, and that’s not 5,000,000. It’s 5,000,000,000.
Next is the fact that you don’t have enough gas or minerals when you’re down there on-planet, making Zerg explode and sending Protoss into electrical oblivion. No problem.
Type “realmendrilldeep” and your reward is 5000 Vespene. Type “jaynestown” and all of your mineral fields will be replenished.
Maybe that still isn’t getting it done. Maybe you want a force to shake the world, to end creation itself. Type “moredotsmoredots” and your units will cost nothing to create. That’s right. Nothing. Ever wanted an all-Thor army? Here’s your chance.
Finally, finally, let’s say that you just suck. Just out-and-out suck. More minerals and more units aren’t going to cut it, and neither is every upgrade in the game. You use Marines against Ultralisks and Banshees to fight Pheonixes because you suck at Starcraft and fail at life.
But dammit, you want to whine.
Win, sorry. Win.
Type “terribleterribledamage” and congratulations, you’re the Lord and Master of the whole damn place. Welcome to God mode.
Bear in mind that none of these codes prevent you from winning missions or finishing the campaign. You’re not going to get any achievements, and we suspect that your final victory over the Zerg, Protoss and Dominion is going to feel as hollow and empty as your charred soul, but hey, whatever floats your cheating boat.
Cheat on, brothers. Cheat on.
